Desk jobs…

Desk jobs have got to be one of the worst jobs to hold. I currently have one and I absolutely hate it, for a multitude of reasons:

  • I have to sit all day, with minimal walking or exercise
  • I eat bad food because I barely get a lunch break and the quickest thing to get besides bringing lunch is fast food
  • I commute almost an hour and a half each day 
  • Customers, vendors and coworkers treat me with the most minimal respect 
  • No matter how hard I work or how often I prove myself to be capable of a task, I am still treated as though I do not know how to do said task

    Maybe it’s just part of being a 19 year old in an office of over 30’s, but it’s frustrating. Especially when it feels like I’m contributing nothing to the greater good; I answer phones and emails, send invoices, open mail… Menial tasks really.

    People my age would die to have a desk job but it’s not all it’s cracked up to be, in my opinion. But the lack of sunshine and exercise has really gotten to me in the year since I’ve started; I’ve lost weight (which I desperately don’t need to lose) and I’ve noticed my metabolism has changed. It makes me long for a job where I can sit in the sunshine for at least 10 minutes a day or just get up after the sun does.

    And it’s draining being everyone’s doormat; having to constantly say yes m’am, sorry sir, one moment please, it makes me feel like I’m nothing better than a doormat that everyone can use and abuse as they please. So when I get off work, I feel completely drained and want to do nothing but lounge around and sleep. And I can’t even begin with how much I hate answering calls from my own coworkers, since more often than not they also treat me like a doormat; instead of giving me any form of basic respect, they rather get snippy and ride because I am unable to cater to their every whim.

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    Best friends…

    Having a fight with your best friend can be make or break. But if you two fight and nothing changes because of it, that can be so much worse.

    I’ve spent the last couple of months having a strained relationship with my current best friend. It started when she moved in with my family for a month while she made arrangements to move from Denver to Pueblo. We fought a lot during that time; mostly about me. She accused me of never spending time with her anymore and opting for my boyfriend and of being pathetic about my life situation. So I tried to be a better friend, of course.

    I stopped bringing my boyfriend around as much out of respect for her and her feelings and I tried to quit complaining about my problems.

    But it wasn’t enough.

    I stepped and was almost constantly bailing her out of situations she put herself into; I maxed out my credit card to fly her back from a bad road trip to Texas, I pulled all the savings I had so she could get a down payment on an old truck she wanted… The list goes on.

    But it gets tiring when you feel like you’re the only one making an effort in the relationship.

    Here are some warning signs that could mean your friendship is rocky:

    • You feel tense when you plan to hang out, like anxious or nervous
    • You dread their phone calls or texts
    • When you do hang out, it’s more often then not an activity they wanted to do and they picked out/arranged
    • When you fight, they make no effort to resolve the problems brought up during the fight
    • Sometimes they get jealous of you talk to mutual friends or people you both know that they no longer talk to
    • They don’t want you to spend time with anyone but them, but it’s okay if they have other friends/significant others in their life
    • You’re not allowed to ‘complain’ or can’t about a tough situation in your life, cause they have to talk about their life and the bad situations they turned good
    • You can’t really talk about anything anymore without them turning it into an argument about you (we literally had a fight about car engines one time cause all I said was that I know that a certain one was cheap which is why everyone used it in restorations and she blew up because she thought I was disagreeing with her claim that no one should use them)
    • You can’t talk about your own significant other, especially if they just had a break up, as they will get jealous that you are in a relationship and in a relationship that doesn’t involve them
    • They have no accountability for their actions 
    • They put you into bad situations, either purposefully or through negligence (she left me alone to walk 3 blocks downtown on a Friday night at 1 in the morning so she could go hang out with her new friends and didn’t bother to offer me a ride to my ride or even call/text me to see if I made it all right)
    • You get so annoyed with them that you complain to your other friends/significant other about them

      My friend was great to me until I started my job and started dating my boyfriend. She became more controlling and demanding of me, but because she was my friend I felt I needed to oblige. However, this caused me to quit talking to several of my friends she had a separate falling out with, and it caused me to slack at work since she would call me during my shifts to help her out with a scary adult task. However, I hope this is just because she is a stupid kid still, and will grow up eventually.

      I put my foot down and finally accused her what I had been seeing. I told her we need to take a break from being friends, because we were both going through high stress situations with school and working and our other relationships, so we needed to focus on ourselves instead of trying to be good friends to each other and neglecting our other responsibilities. She of course changed her tube when I said this, saying she was sorry and that she could see how she effected my life, in an attempt to placate me; but I held firm.

      Here’s what I wish I could’ve done instead:

      • Sit down just the two of you in a quiet environment and actually talk about the tension you feel
      • Tell them everything: when they frustrate you, when you feel underappreciated by them, when you have other obligations and you need to give them more attention first… Just communicate openly
      • Be firm, don’t back down after bringing up a topic about their character. Don’t try to justify it, just tell them how you feel when they act like that or treat you like that
      • Don’t let them treat you anyway you don’t want to be; don’t be treated as a secondary friend of you’re out in a group, don’t let yourself be their back up emergency contact if they can’t figure out how to do something, don’t be the only thing stable in the lives and don’t let them drag you into uncomfortable situations

      A relationship of any kind needs a solid foundation of communication and understanding. But if you’re the only one pouring the relationship cement while they sit there and throw sticks and rocks into it, then how stable and healthy is your relationship (any kind of relationship) going to be?

      Moving up and out…

      I think one of the hardest parts of being 19 is living with my parents still. I know, it’s scary.

      But rushing head first into independence can cause more problems than it solves.

      Pros of living with my parents: 

      • No rent
      • Free meals
      • Free laundry
      • Free internet

      Cons of living my parents:

      • Limited freedom
      • Curfew (what am I, 12 years old?)
      • I don’t get to spend the night with my boyfriend
      • No additional pets
      • Set schedule since I also work with my mom
      • No parties

      Living with my parents is like being in high school all over again. Which is why I’m definitely moving out within the next 6 months.

      Shopping…

      Okay, I just don’t get it; people my age are horrible grocery shoppers. Between my best friend and my boyfriend, I almost had an heart attack shopping with them.

      Not only do they both believe junk food is cheap, they buy it in horrendous quantities; family-sized packs of Oreos, 24-packs of soda (or pop, however you want to say it), large bags of Doritos or Cheetos or any other chip product. And it’s just for them.

      I don’t understand how they go into a store and avoid the produce section, or even the just-add meal section (like hamburger helper meals or things like that). It mystifies me.

      It must mystify them too,  because one time I astounded my best friend when she asked me to pick her up groceries. She gave me $50 and just told me to get enough for her to make it through the week. I ended up getting enough for her for 2 and a half weeks for the price of $70; I ended up getting her several frozen meals she would just need to throw in the oven, bagels for breakfast, and various sandwich items. She was astounded that she didn’t need to eat the same thing 4 days in a row for every meal.

      Maybe I’m just talented at grocery shopping?

      Budgeting…

      One of the dirtiest words as an adult:

      Budgets

      One of the things I’ve learned recently is that people my age (18-23) rarely like to budget and fail to see the necessities of needing a budget.

      For example, one of my friends is also going to school and has many costs associated with her education. However, she chooses to entertain bad habits while at school (especially partying). She called me a few weeks ago and was terrified of being kicked out of school next semester for her outstanding bill of $1200, but she had no idea how she was going to come up with that money within the 2 months she was given by the school.

      If she had budgeted, as I have had to do for that past 18 months while paying off my own school debt and returning to school, she wouldn’t have been as concerned.

      So here’s a quick step-by-step guide I use every month to make sure I stay on track and can stay in school:

      1. Write down each and every expense you have
        • This includes every single bill, the due date, and the amount due
      2. Analyze monthly income
        • This step is harder, as I get paid on an hourly-biases and not salary, so I try to breakdown my expected pay based on what days I know I’m working (i.e. if I know I’m gonna work 6 days out of 11-day pay period, then I only calculate my pay for those 6 days)
      3. Using a calendar or planner, write down each bill inside it’s respective due date and the amount.
      4. On the same calendar, write in your income on your expected pay dates (i.e. every other Friday, every Tuesday, the 1st and the 15th of the month)
      5. Now the hard part: Using your projected income, subtract all the expenses within that pay period
        • So if you get paid on the 1st and you have rent due on the 10th and a credit card payment due on the 5th, subtract those costs from the paycheck you received on the 1st.
      6. All money not spent on estimated bills can be used in a few ways:
        1. Put into savings, for rainy days occasions
        2. Put back into bills, such as loans, mortgages, maxed out credit cards, or any bill with a large balance
        3. if the amount saved is small, use it to treat yourself to a reward, such as going for ice cream or a movie
        4. Or it can be split up between any of those options
      7. The next hardest part is sacrifice:
        • Give up anything you absolutely do not need (partying, spa treatments, cleaners, dog walkers, services you don’t use, eating out…)
        • By giving up a lot of these expenses, you’re keeping money in your pocket. It’s hard at first, because you’ll think you really do need those things, but you can get by without a Starbucks every day or eating out every other night

      It’s a process, but when you start to see the money piling up in your bank accounts, when you’re not as worried about making it to the next paycheck or if you’ll have enough for groceries that week, that’s when it starts to pay off.

      There’s nothing wrong with needing help, so please let me know; I would be more than happy to help you set up a budget or help figure out how to handle paying off bills and loans.

       

       

       

      Internships…

      As I begin to consider a small field of internships available to me, I dread even applying; they will give me much needed experience for my resume, but in the process, I will have to get another job in addition to the internship.

      Isn’t that ridiculous? That to even make it in society and in my chosen career, I will need years of experience from internships, many of which are unpaid, and during those internships, I will still have to balance all my regular bills like auto insurance and rent as well as school expenses as there is no way to get an adequate internship without being enrolled in an applicable program.

      Not only does this process cause financial issues, but the internships themselves last barely long enough to count as experience;

      i.e

      I can get an internship at with my state’s parks and wildlife division that lasts around 6 months. However, the position I would like to have someday at the zoo as a research associate requires at least 2 years experience in a related field. That means that to have up to 2 years of experience I would need to accumulate around 4 internships during the next two and a half years of my schooling, while also maintaining a full-time position elsewhere to help manage my financial obligations.

       

      Not only is this a stressful decision, but any wrong move I make now can lead to years of even harder work that I will have to struggle through. I welcome any stories of anyone else having to balance work, internships, and school, because I need all the advice I can get right now.

      Amazing little things…

      If there’s one thing that will never cease to amaze me, it’s the fact that someone fell terribly head-over-heals for me of their own free will.

      My boyfriend, who is pretty amazing and i love him very much, confessed that he fell hard the first time he woke up next to me, about a week after we became an exclusive couple. For a bit of back story, my boyfriend agreed to tag-along with me and my friend to her property in the middle of nowhere (also known as about 15 miles past Pueblo, CO). We thought it was going to be warm that weekend, even though it was late January.

      He apparently fell head-first into love the first morning, after we had gotten to my friend’s house at around 11 and spent the next hour setting up a tent in the breezy dark.

      Our 1-year anniversary will be in January, but this December will be a year since we met, but this will be our first Christmas together and I am eternally grateful for him.